The Sucker and the Sage

"The Sucker and the Sage"
by: MHD

So what's what and what's happening?
No matter how many times is the worst of times. Right?
I mean am I right or what?

You coming in here every six days or so
with that slack jawed don't know what,
and I'm supposed to pity ya?

Tell you what and do you one better,
listen straight Tommy me boy. Here comes some wisdom.

You'd do well; never trust a woman as long as you live!

Every time you're in here it's
she did this or she done that. And
what for Tom?

Well I'll give you what for and how and why too.

A peek at the wink and a whiff of the stink, and you're slapping down samoleons like they're doggie treats.
Few days gone by, and you're in here broken hearted and busted.

So what's the deal with 'em,
you're always askin'?

Well it's either they disappear
after they get to know you, or they're taking flight
after they've known the thin of your wallet.

Which do you think it is?

Hey kid, even though Prince Valiant you ain't,
you can't be so bad that a chick won't stick with you
for more than a dip and whirl.

I see you at least once a week, and you
ain't begun to scratch my pecker.

Point being kid,
you got a good heart and
there ain't one female in this mortal coil
that's gonna see that and not take advantage.

You got sap tattooed across your forehead,
and sucker stamped on your back.

How can you walk in here every week
and still not realize that?

Originally posted on March 28, 2006 on Myspace.

This is a monologue I wrote, which I then broke up into a poem.