Restraint, constraint, straight-jacketed hollow-point pops into your brain through a fore-head dot India ink style while kiddies finger paint snot smears where mommy can't see and an old man strains to pea-brained scheme up a flag-pole, standing at attention with one hand on his heart and the other chokes life from a gold ingot being stolen Auric style - "No Mr. Bond I expect you to -
Dye your hair again it'll make you look younger generation weened on Dr. Phil meth-lab pseudo-science cooked up in a kitchen out of anti-depressants and ritalin riddling his brain pan fried and delicious can't find a fucking job in this townies messing with cadets school shooting bullshit train our kids to kill Ender's Game gone haywire to hotwire the General Lee for a joyride through movie remake mania as long as it's a high-def fifty-two inch ramrod up the ass like you're at Lexington and Concorde killing Redcoats for representative democracy and Republican Federalism and low-cost dvd's with special extra 2-disc bonus features that'll blow your mind and your dick...
...on this commentary track just keeps talking on and on about the fucking 3rd Best Boy and the Grip and that time they helped the Darfur refugees for twelve whole fucking hours so they could get the perfect shot at sunrise and how great it made them feel to hold that starved child's hand when the sounds of the blanks going off in Leo's AK scared her into thinking the fucking warlords were coming back to finish the job that killed her fucking mother and sister, grandfather and cousin.
But hey, that was one long day on location and this lame-ass fucking story on a 3rd Commentary audio option on the fucking Little Shop Of Horrors' 35th anniversary deluxxe dvd is more important to most of us than kiddie raping Congressmen and legal torture and the double-standard of female sex predators getting a slap on the wrist when they diddle a student driver run him off the fucking road I'm in a hurry here and now trying to breath life back into the comatosed consciousness that has a Ted Nugent stranglehold on this Desperate Housewives agenda item for our next meeting -
We need a show to make fat girls feel like they belong in this confusing culture of mixed message plane crash out your anger at the government shoot up a school little house on the prairie magic-time.
Gotta get the Laura Ingalls Wilder flowing, gotta get the Mork and Mindy going, gotta bring back Barney Miller, gotta make everyone feel warm inside, like they aren't the only ones who hate their lives, who work hard all day just to get shit from the kids and suicide bombs and stingrays jumping out of the water to over-throw the topsy-turvy world of man ruling stingray - they're taking it back like we should be - cover your heart and open your eyes.
Originally posted on October 20, 2006 on Myspace.
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