Meg Ryan in "The Doors"

What was Jim Morrison's wife's name? Anyway, that's me.

I realized tonight, as Greta made her DC onstage debut playing keyboards for her sister Alexia's band The Soft Complex, that I am now married to a rock star and will have to contend with all the trappings that entails. No longer will we have quiet nights at home in front of the telly. No, now I get to look forward to her sleeping with boy-toy fans and her attending all night Champagne and Coke parties while I am at home breast-feeding our child. A child we only had, because in my pathetic "non-famous" mind I thought it could bring us closer together.

Yes it is true. Soon Greta will be going on a world tour, trashing hotel rooms with Keith Moon and Sid Vicious, and I'll be bailing her out of a Munich Jail at 6:23 in the morning. That's right. Now that Greta is a rock star, I will be all alone, I will become a closet alcoholic because of her neglect. We will have the Honeymoon Suite at the Betty Ford Clinic. We'll have raging screaming matches in front of our families and friends because she got stoned again and forgot it was Thanksgiving. Greta will beat me with belts and call me a sad hanger-on. She'll crash a Corvette off the Santa Monica Pier just for the fun of it. Meanwhile, I'll be trying to manage our Titanic-sinking finances as our life-style gets more and more out of control. Greta will buy me a solid gold built-in swimming pool for our anniversary, but then we'll get in another fight because all I wanted was a quiet night alone, with my wife, like it used to be. (sniff, sniff)

Finally we will have to live in exile in Cuba, because of Greta's one outrageous Rock Star act too many. And there in Havana I will die in a bathtub, drained bottle of Bushmills in my hand.

I can see it now.

PS- Greta and Alexia and The Soft Complex are playing again on friday at the one and only 930 Club!!! Everybody send 'em some love!


Originally posted on June 16, 2005 on Myspace.